Phew! Inadvertently, I have been bringing all the boys to my yard. I’m not complaining.
For the last few weeks I have been talking about bus stops and milkshake and dating and all that jazz. 2021 has had an incredible start with respect to my love life. And sex life to be honest. Lockdown? What lockdown?
Gamer geek has seriously impressed me. We have been chatting non-stop for the last few weeks, we’ve video chatted a few times, last night we watched a film together, virtually which was a novel experience but lots of fun! We watched ‘The Vacation’ and it was cringeworthingly funny! Lots of giggles and then this morning we met for a walk and he bought breakfast, homemade biscuits, made me a flask of tea in his camper van AND kept me entertained on a 6 mile walk. 10/10 for effort. I won’t lie, I’m very impressed. He’s quite funny too, in a very dry sense though. Right now, I don’t really feel all that excited by him, I don’t feel the immediate draw of passion but not a single red flag is being shown. Gamer Geek is just a simple, genuine, down to earth man. I’m definitely interested in a second date. (Or is it a fourth date bearing in mind we have video chatted and watched a film?) Meh.
And then we move onto Mr Big. Big doesn’t even describe…it. We have been exchanging very filthy, dirty messages, I don’t think I have masturbated quite so much in such a short space of time. Sorry TMI. And we have a date tomorrow. Well, not so much a date. I’m totally gonna ride that boy like the dirty Kawasaki that he is. (He’s a biker). I might share the details. I haven’t decided, but what I will share now is that I am actually quite scared because I’m genuinely not sure my legs will spread wide enough. LOL. We have agreed this is a ‘no pressure, just pleasure‘ thing, which totally contradicts my 2021 Dating Mantra, nor is it what I want long term but to be quite honest, I don’t care. I know getting together during a lockdown is not a good idea, but seeing as we work together, technically, I’m already in a bubble of sorts with him so fuck it.
I’m taking a night off to GET SOME! It’s been months and it is the least I deserve.
That’s my story anyway and I’m sticking to it. Besides, I did see him this week, unexpectedly, he was in my building and I walked into an office to the back of his head. He was as equally surprised to see me. Ordinarily not a problem but the night before we had phone sex and I received a video of him. I don’t think either of us have ever been so thankful to have been wearing a mask in our lives! This might be moving quick, but I figure that as we have known each other for years, then the whole getting to know each other side of dating is redundant at this point, so why not skip ahead 5 dates? Not that I have a specified number of dates before I put out, may I just add.
Then there is ex work colleague. He has messaged me every single day. However – I don’t think he’s single and I get the sense I am just a distraction. I have tried to tease some info out of him, but he doesn’t seem to be reading between the lines. And other than his message of offering to take me out to a local beauty spot (hindsight, that sounds creepy) he has not mentioned meeting up since. So, as it stands. I have written him off.
I have not spoken to Nathan since he suggested a snog etc. He’s been following my ‘Gram stories but nothing more. I’ve also written him off. He’s had his chance to be fair, we’ve known each other for years so why keep flogging a dead horse?
And as for FD. I just have no words. I swallowed my pride after we hadn’t talked since New Years day when he called me babes. Hahahahahahahaha remember that? Remember how I was soooo caught up in what it meant and how besotted I was with this guy? Seriously hahahahahahahah. Well three weeks later nothing from him. I was resolute, I’m not making the first move, I always make the first move, if he’s a man he will get in touch. However, somebody suggested that being stubborn is my downfall and perhaps reaching out would reset the clock, because he may also feel like a three week absence would be awkward to end. So I phoned him. He answered. We spent a good hour on the phone chatting as we always do and he ended the conversation with ‘Let’s go for another walk, I’ll find some free time’. It has been radio silence again ever since. So as promised, it is February…he is also written off. Tough luck buddy! (Although having a new crush might have something to do with my sudden reversal of attitude on this).
But, what this does prove, is that just because one man doesn’t want you, that is not to say another won’t. You just never know what is around the corner. If you had said to me on New Years Day, ‘Saint – by the end of January you will be no longer care about the man who carries your balls and you will be flirting and getting hot and heavy with the guy you’ve wanted to climb for the last couple of years’….I wouldn’t have believed you.
So note to self, for any future ambiguous men. If they ain’t chasing you down and wanting to talk to you then they ain’t interested. What do Gamer Geek, Mr Big and Ex Colleague all have in common? They are consistently communicating with me. They want to talk. Whether it is ‘How’s your day?’, a meme, a funny story from their day or whether it is filth, they will get in touch. And should you find yourself pining pitifully over a man who isn’t really reciprocating, or making the effort? Well it’s simple. Down the Milkshake and WALK AWAY!
Anyway, for all you vicarious people, here is a snippet of me and and Mr Big. He’s white, I’m grey. Instagram should change its slogan to ‘Instagram: Keeping single people connected’. Or perhaps ‘Instagram: Keeping the hopes, dreams and genitals of single people from withering’ would be more appropriate.