’Witty Title’ Rejection

You can’t reject a man. There. I said it.

If you ghost, you’re disrespectful. If you’re honest, they just keep dangling the carrot hoping you’ll bite.

Unfortunately for me, I’m wired to bite. I need the last word. I won’t back down from a fight and this is built in stone. I have a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush and I consider my ability to weave words together to create a harmony of sweet and sting one of my greatest strengths. (On paper at least, I’m much less eloquent face to face).

But herein lies the problem. Men don’t like to be rejected. Heck, nobody likes to be rejected. Yet, the world makes out that it’s women that become the crazy bunny boilers and men are nonchalant. But in my experience, and I have been the crazy one on several occasions, men take it much harder than women.

This post isn’t designed to berate any particular gender, but I have no doubt that someone may be triggered if they happen to read this and I really don’t mean to do that; I’m reminded about the time FD triggered me many months ago by saying ‘If she’s single and fit, she’s crazy’ and my equally slandering retort of ‘If he’s single and fit, he’s an Alpha Pussy’.

And you might be wondering why I’m jumping on my soapbox about this?

One of my old ‘boyfriends’ The Pilot will not let me just drive off into the sunset in peace. I’ve made my position very clear about looking for something more than casual (dude, step up or step away) and despite us very clearly being on different pages of very different books, he continues to bait me. And when I don’t take the bait (and by this I mean ignore him), he throws a hissy fit.

When I do reply in kind, he sees that as a reason to push his boundaries and completely ignore mine. I should just continue to ignore him and let him have his man-paddy, but I respect people and ghosting is just not my style. Is this because I have a built-in need to please people? Or am I respectful? Blocking people is a very last resort for me because I do value connections that I have made with people. I’m not saying we’d be friends in the traditional sense though, so maybe I should re-consider my criteria for blocking? Or at least explore why I’m so reluctant to block?

Yesterday, The Pilot and I texted more in one day than we have the whole year. All because he doesn’t want to lose his booty call. Or at least, that’s what I think. And the reality is, even if I did want something casual, I’ve found that in Mr Big who is local and, quite frankly, scores way higher on the ‘Fuck Buddy-O-Metre’.

And I know a mans ego is a fragile thing and this is perhaps why I try and let down the Menz gently. It never works though. You gotta burn the bridge or they just keep trying. And trying. And t r y i n g!!

And the world wonders why women fear saying no and why ‘I have a Boyfriend’ is the only effective way of getting a guy off your back.

I think the whole point of this post though was that no matter which side of the rejection fence you are on…giving or receiving, the whole thing sucks!

Is it better to be a heartbreaker? Or be the one broken?

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Thereneverwasasaintwithredhair

Welcome to my blog about my car crash dating life as a 30 something female.

6 thoughts on “’Witty Title’ Rejection”

  1. Such a great post. I’ve been meaning to write an update on my dating (HA! pffff) life so far but worried in case people were like “Jesus! this old record again!” but my friends are literally incredulous I am still single. What they keep forgetting is that generally most men on dating sites are only looking for hookups, polyamory relationships, someone who is a size zero and fit to join him windsurfing/marathon running/ski-ing etc or absolutely with no children all of the above which rule me out! I have literally had some lines thrown my way which could make for entertaining reading I must admit. Watch this space! x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ughhh the eternal question…. Break hearts or be broken-hearted… Bc I’m scared of all mental and physical pain I think I’d rather be the heartbreaker (selfishly) lol but neither is great of course (I’m not a total monster LOL).. I’m not a total blocker… Unless I feel like they’re missing a couple screws then I try real hard to break it to them gently… Spend a little more time letting it down easy… (never know these days with ppl) 😒😳🙄

    Liked by 1 person

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