Crazy Train pt4

Is there a Goldilocks zone for telling someone you love them? Too early and it’s just weird. Too late? Well, that’s my question. Can telling somebody that you love them ever be too late?

Please see Crazy Train Pt1 Crazy Train Pt2 and Crazy Train Pt3 for further context

GG told me he loved me on 11th July. That’s a month ago.

I still haven’t said those words to him. Partly because as you all know, ima but if a psychotic mess at times and I’m overthinking my feelings for him and I don’t want to say those three little words without meaning them and it doesn’t help when I have temptations thrown in my face and and and.

See all these excuses I’m making?

Truthfully though, what do those three little words even mean anyway if not backed up by actions? And this leads me onto a complaint, a very minor complaint, but still.

Gg fails to send me kisses on his goodnight texts and rarely texts good morning.

Now, in the grand scheme of telling me he loves me, organising weekend trips, making efforts to get to know my son, introducing me to his family, cooking my dinner and doing minor chores for me, you are thinking this is insignificant.

And you would be right. It is insignificant in the grand scheme of all those other things. But it’s the small things that really matter. Because I can do all those big things myself. I’m grateful for when he does them of course, and I appreciate him for those things, but it’s the little things that make the most impact.

Like little ‘post it’s’ randomly left.

Or finding my fave chocolate in the fridge

Or picking up those rare crisps you love that hardly anywhere sells

Or randomly sending me breakfast when I’m working at home and have a ton of stuff to do

Folding my laundry (I cannot explain just how much I despise this task)

Send good night and good morning texts. With Xx’s

Back scratches and tickles.

These are all things I have done or do for GG. And are worth way more than the three words ‘I love you’

And I know words of affirmation are some peoples love language. But it’s not mine. And it’s not GG’s.

I guess the thoughtfulness that was there in the beginning has started to wear off.

I wouldn’t mind but we haven’t even had an argument. 8 months!! This makes me suspicious…because it usually means he’s a bottler. The silent treatment type. The passive aggressive.

I had 13 years of it and let me tell you, it’s worse than yelling.

The crazy train continues….

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Thereneverwasasaintwithredhair

Welcome to my blog about my car crash dating life as a 30 something female.

12 thoughts on “Crazy Train pt4”

  1. So he’s not bothered that you haven’t said the words back A MONTH later…? Just say the words, you do love him though right? Unless deep down you know it would be a lie, in that case, string him along a bit more. MOOHAHAHA! I’m kidding, just text him this conundrum.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Why is it so hard!? I’ve said the 3 words to so many men and looking back, I’ve never meant it! Ok that’s sad but how much easier will it be when it’s genuine? Do it? DO IT! DO IT! I’m literally chanting the last part

        Liked by 2 people

  2. When you love someone you honestly don’t even have these lists, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t but I’m saying the psychological effect of being in love makes you forget all this… But when you don’t love someone that you think you should.. You mind starts picking… Observing.. Finding reasons… Is this you?

    Liked by 1 person

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