Have I ever told you guys that in between all of the dating, the working and the parenting, I’m also renovating a house?
Ok, so renovation sounds like it’s extreme and conjures images of taking walls back to the bare bricks, having wires and pipes exposed. But I don’t have another word to describe it, and decorating feels way too simple to describe what I have been doing. I’ve been in the house for nearly 5 years, which means the work I have already got round to doing needs re-doing and then there’s still stuff that I never did and that needs doing too. I can’t actually finish a job. Example, I have a the most gorgeous bathroom, but…I still have some small jobs to finish, painting the ceiling, fitting the skirting. And you see this all through the house. Not one single room is actually finished because all the jobs that you leave to the end, I never end up doing because I’m always so quick to move onto my next project.
So as you can tell, I’m renovating a house but I’m not very good at it.
But renovation has given me a set of skills I wouldn’t normally have. I’ve learned how to tile, I’ve learned how to skim, I’ve learned how to hang things on a wall. I’ve learned some basic plumbing, I know where my stop tap is, I can locate my fuse board and I know which switch does what. I can replace light switches and plug sockets and I can even feed electrical wires through walls.
All these things I couldn’t previously do before living on my own that I have had to learn, simply because I don’t come from a family of DIY-ers. I’m not complaining, I’m glad I have these skills. And I truly believe that basic DIY for women is a necessity. But we only do it out of necessity.
I don’t think I’d be in a minority for saying I want a man who can do these things instead. And be willing to do them for me?
DIY is what I consider a blue job. A blue job is a chore that a woman can do but shouldn’t have to. Fulfilling a blue job is seen as chivalrous in my eyes. and blue jobs lead to blow jobs.
Examples of blue jobs:
DIY – filling walls, replacing bulbs, thermostats etc
Taking out Bins
Going in the garage
Going up the loft
I’m currently in the process of planning my new dream kitchen. It’s the one room I haven’t touched since I moved in. Well, I re-plastered the ceiling and took the wallpaper off.
I’ve had a number of design teams round to bring my vision to life and to provide quotes and honestly, this is the first thing I have been excited about in a while. And I’m doing it on my own. Which is fine, as I’m used to doing everything on my own, that’s the way it’s been for the last 5 years near enough. But it doesn’t feel quite right to me. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for nearly 11 months and isn’t interested or doesn’t want any input.
If this was a casual relationship and I wasn’t thinking about a future where we might live together, then fine. But we have talked about this possibility so you would think that assisting me with my kitchen plans would be something he’d be interested in.
But he’s not. So is this an example of words not matching actions.
No idea how this ended up being another woe is me tale of dating, I really just wanted a break from all the questioning and worry but, the problem with anxiety, is that it manifests and pushing it down does little to help. I have to speak my truth, and if I don’t then things spiral see Witty Title – Speaking My Truth.
Truth is, as much as GG and I have an amazing time together when we travel and go away, we’re not much of a team in a domestic setting. Parenting, chores, support for projects. It’s just not there. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t had to. Maybe it’s because he’s lazy. Or maybe it’s just because he doesn’t see a future together so why bother investing. If neither of us are adding bricks to our castle (or only one of us is), we’ll never build a fortress. That’s my metaphor on how to build a life together. Love isn’t enough. Great sex isn’t enough. Travel isn’t enough,
Or am I just asking for too much again?
I’d rather be single than settle.