I’m pretty fly for a white…Gal.

She’s back!…..well, for a day at least!

So turns out Neptune and Mercury squared up over the weekend which is ‘Astrology’ for ‘expect a lack of confidence’….so that explains a lot. If I really held any faith in horoscopes then today I would be ‘nurturing a wildly creative idea and my thoughts would be all over the place, which is typical of my frenetic nature’. OK so maybe there’s some truth in that BUT I ignored my horoscope and actually took some of my own advice and found something else to do today other than ruminate on the thoughts and feelings of that teeny tiny percentage of the population.

I did an 8 mile walk whilst listening to some podcasts, saw some countryside and got my groove on to some very cool, if not cheesy, music. There is absolutely nothing weird about a girl on her own singing and dancing along walking trails, right?

I got home and made myself lunch, researched how to write a boss blog and I’ve spent the rest of this afternoon putting up my Christmas decorations whilst listening to Christmas music.

Now I haven’t been perfect, FD has crossed my mind a few times throughout the day, but I have forced myself to think about something else, like why on earth did we used to turn into slutty sluts whenever ‘Push It’ by Salt ‘N’ Pepper was played the DJ in the club? Without fail, girls would start grinding on each other and guys would watch with their tongues hanging out. Couples would literally get busy with their clothes on. Does that still happen? I gotta say I miss that. I miss being so carefree you’d pretend fuck your bezzie from behind, or she’d be lying on the floor, that was always covered in spilt WKD or other sticky alcoholic beverage while you cowgirl’d her. I mean gross, but nobody gave a single shit! I’ll tell you what else I miss too, having my bum pinched. You know, when you was smushed up dancing with your gal pal’s and some random dude would just squeeze passed and give you a quick cheeky grab? Yes I know its 2020 and that’s considered sexual assault now, but it was such a simpler time, if they pinched your bum you was guaranteed a snog. The fact that the bum pinchers are most likely on the sex offenders register now is really not the point. I feel we need a new, less sexually aggressive move to act as match maker.

We’ve also not had a decent party dance tune since Cha-Cha Slide which I think is a real tragedy. There’s nothing like a moronic song to get the masses on the dance floor, flailing their arms and wiggling their hips. Somebody should come up with a new one!

Why, or better yet, when did I become so care-occupied (that’s the opposite of care free right? I’m going with it). Because I didn’t give a toss what a guy thought of me back then. I’d never even give a guy a second thought, even if I fancied the pants off him. I remember having a bit of a fling with a guy my friends ended up nicknaming ‘Rocking Robin’. We flirted, we hooked up a few times I was totally besotted and then I saw him leave with another girl one night. I don’t even recall if it stung, but I certainly didn’t pay it any mind. If my memory serves me well, I found a new dancing partner and the rest was history (well, not entirely, dancing partner now works for me FML). So when did I become so care-occupied? Maybe when I became a mother? Nobody wants to be the embarrassing mess of a mother. And I found new hobbies because as we grow up, partying, drinking and dancing becomes harder with families and more mature obligations. The jury is still out on whether I’m not an embarrassing mum, I mean, no kid wants their parent cheering the loudest from the side line at football or making them dance around the kitchen whilst I’m singing Christmas songs wildly out of tune. But tough shit kiddo!

Then again, the confidence I used to have may have been replaced by anxiety thanks to the trauma of being in love with a guy who was so far the opposite of in love with me that I’m just not sure how to read a situation anymore. And so instead of being the first to the dance floor, the loudest voice in the room, the first name on the karaoke list, or the first to tell a guy that I’m interested in him, I leave it to everybody else to take the stage. Or could it be that it’s just part of growing up? I’m not sure I subscribe to that ideal, I mean I was singing and dancing along a trail today. Perhaps its the experience you gain with meeting people through life, when a relationship doesn’t develop in a way you are accustomed (or hoped). But that’s a really selfish thing I think, hiding what are undoubtedly the best bits of you from others, not showing how unique you are for fear of rejection from somebody or a group of people. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be friend’s (or in love) with the girl who holds her own cabaret show whilst exploring woodland? That’s peoples problem, not mine.

So I want us to do something. Let’s start celebrating what makes us unique. It doesn’t have to be grand; mine is the fact I can make a dance floor out of anything and I love people who are equally DTB (Down to Boogie) on the fly, what carefree, unique quality do you see in yourself that you would love and appreciate in a friend or partner?