You ever been to a restaurant and been unable to decide on what to eat because the restaurant has too many good choices and you’re just so hungry?
Well that’s my relationship status at the moment!
I have 4 boyfriends. So OK, boyfriend seems like a strong word but ‘interested parties’ sounds lame. Suitors? A bit old fashioned. Prospects? It’s not a job. Options? Too impersonal.
I’m sticking with boyfriends. They have no idea about each other, and on top of this I have a huge crush on a guy I know through football training. Thing you should know about me is that I rarely develop a crush on somebody who has actual potential. Examples of my crushes are Elvis or J-Lo, the random stranger who held the door open for me, my married boss who is TWICE my age. Never on a man who is around my age, a single dad, a man who laughs at my jokes and not at me. A man who takes their time to say hello and chat. Oh no! That would be too real. But here I am, for only the third time in my life, having a ‘realistic’ crush! He just doesn’t know it. And that’s a story for another time, because I currently have 4 boyfriends and I need to get this sorted first.
Boyfriend No.1; R is a pilot. He lives in London, doesn’t have children. He’s tall, dark, handsome and we have the most random conversations. We met a few years back on a dating site and have always been fond of each other but his job and being away made seeing each other really hard meaning we ended up in this sort of hook up relationship. Naturally I met someone else and that ended. However around Christmas last year, R got in touch and being recently single, I thought hey why not. Nothing has changed, he still lives in London, he still travels a lot, and we have still ended up hooking up, which I was clear I didn’t want. He agreed it wasn’t what he wanted either but long distance is hard when the conversation is one liners at best. But the sex is good and I’m always ever hopeful!
Boyfriend No.2; D is also a pilot. He lives local, doesn’t have children. He’s dark and handsome, not so much tall but he can talk and he will ask me about things going on in my life. When we are together. It’s a bit hit and miss when we are not and we haven’t moved past the ‘DM’s’ into exchanging numbers. But whatever, some people are weird right? And I dig weird. Whilst I wouldn’t say I fancied him immediately, there’s something about him that I can’t shake, and he’s really gotten under my skin. We seem to be in sync in the bedroom, having similar outlooks in life too. Real potential, but not sure if he’s looking for a casual thing, which I made clear I wasn’t.
Boyfriend No.3; D is a Bin Man. A dustman. I cannot fluff that up, even garden waste disposal engineer sounds like shit. And I am not knocking the job, I’m no snob, it’s honest work and to be perfectly honest sounds like a right lark which compared to my job makes me very jealous. Doug has 4 children, lives local, he tall, dark, handsome-ish (see a theme here) and rates off the scale with regards to communication. Anyhow, Doug and I went on a date about 3 years ago. We got chatting on that very famous dating site, not tinder, the other one but the date actually came after I saw him on a night out. He tracked me down and found me on instagram, after exchanging some messages, we went on a date. Urgh! There was no spark, no convo, I didn’t fancy him. Aside from the steak and wine, it was rubbish! So rubbish, he went back to his wife! Anyway, fast forward 3 years later, and D is almost divorced and back in my DM’s, things have taken off from there. D is very sweet. Very very very sweet. A sap I guess. And on one hand it’s quite endearing, the other it’s just plain annoying. Telling me you like me 3 times in a row or hinting you want to see me in 4 messages is a bit much. And maybe it’s a confidence thing because I don’t get that when we are together. We’ve had 4 dates (1 online) and things are going well. I just don’t have the urge to jump into bed with him & so I can’t rate compatibility there, but we’ve kissed and it has been nice enough. I think I already know my answer but something isn’t letting me go.
Boyfriend No.4; A is fit as fuck. Off the scale fit as fuck and he fancies me! He’s pure filth and honestly, there would only be hot kinky sex between us, but damn, that boy is fine. We exchange messages, never met although we had planned to earlier in the year and then lockdown happened. So the next plan was August but I’m away for the weekend which is bloody typical! I am under no illusion this is purely physical and honestly, he is just an itch to scratch. But we’ve known each other for such a long time, I think I’d kick myself for not sampling the goods!
So there you have it. 4 boyfriends, who are not actually boyfriends. None of them I overtly fancy, I’ve just gone with the flow but they’ve all gotten under my skin in some way. And now I’m facing a Dilemma of choices. It’s just like the menu, I have too many options and I don’t know how to choose. I could probably whittle it down to 2 (I think) but then still, how do I choose between the two?