FD #9

And the saga continues.

There’s one thing I’m acutely aware of right now. I get wayyy too excited when I get excited about boys.

Some boys have to earn this, like gamer geek for instance, because the attraction isn’t immediate. For other boys, like FD and Mr Big, my excitement has to be contained because I’m already physically attracted to them.

But no matter which of these beginnings strike in the dating world, once I like somebody, I build up my own hopes and dreams. And I also break my own hopes and dreams when The Menz inevitably fail to live up to my unrealistic expectations.

And whilst my expectations might not be unrealistic, I really only want companionship with somebody funny who is chivalrous and flirty and sexy, who knows how’s to string a sentence or two together with consistency (Ok, so sue me), my imaginations run wild with thoughts on how they fulfil these expectations and that is indeed where I let myself down. And also let them down.

And in hindsight, this was what went wrong with FD and Mr Big. Wayyyy too keen wayyy too early. And then by the time I realised this and pulled back, I pulled back too much and it.just.stopped. I really need to learn a happy medium.

Somehow.

FD text me today. Somebody had left a football top down the park. The top is initialled and this man works at the school the kids in my team and the team in the year below all attend. So he knew exactly who the top belonged to. But, he text me and asked me to share and if that’s him breaking the ice then I’ll take it. I replied and asked him how he was. I referred to the fact we hadn’t spoke for ages and he agreed. He asked me about my walking and shared he was down the park again with some of the kids. I told him about my newfound love for playing Tennis and he shared the link to join his local tennis club. Not my club, the one near him.

And the kisses are back on the texts.

And look at me, reading into it. Hoping.

Yet.

Again.